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Roughly twenty odd years ago, I was pretty immature and really did not know that much about relationships. At twenty, I was pretty toned with an imposing muscular build, broad shoulders and a thick head of hair. Despite my rugged good looks, I always lacked the confidence to even approach women. I was rather self-conscious about the size of my genitals. Growing up, I was always led to believe that a man’s tallywacker, or ‘manhood’ was an extension of his masculinity. Being possessed with an unimpressive little dick, measuring in at just over four inches filled me with a great deal of angst, knowing full well, that I was not at all ‘manly’ where it counted.
Anyway, going back to 2003. I had just turned 20 and I was living in share house, with a group of university students. We were all studying mechanical engineering. My best mate, always seemed successful with girls so, I just hung around him hoping to get some of his left overs. Thinking back, it sounds rather quite pathetic. My mindset back in the day however was: must get laid, no matter what. When summer came around, he suggested we go to a resort up North. He knew it was party season and there would be plenty of opportunities to have a great deal of fun, as heavily inebriated young people tend to. It was a fancy resort in the heart of a major town with plenty of services and activities nearby, also it was quite cheap and affordable for a couple of horny university students.
I imagined getting up to all sorts of mischief with scantily dressed women, we both did. The prospect of meeting girls and having intimate encounters was something, I longed for. Words simply couldn’t express how much I wanted, needed it. So, we booked via an agent and made all the appropriate arrangements for an epic week of drunken tomfoolery. Unfortunately, days before we were set to leave, my mate had a death in the family and had to cancel his trip. Given the fact that, I had already paid for my tickets and a refund was not possible, I decided to go alone.
The resort was amazing and had all the facilities you could imagine. Also, it was crowded with young people and girls that looked easy. It was mostly university students, some from overseas, some local, almost everyone constantly inebriated. It was insane. There were drinking competitions, wet t-shirt competitions, water sports and everything else you could possibly imagine. The music was loud and constant, it was the perfect place for a young single guy looking to party and hopefully, get laid.
However, not having a crew, I very much felt like an outsider, like a loner and I found it very difficult to fit in, let alone strike up conversations with members of the opposite sex. I found solace by the main pool, where I could gawk at women from my deckchair, hiding behind a pair of oversized mirrored aviators. I looked out for girls who I thought would be easy to approach, alas, nerves and butterflies seemed to get in the way. In the evening, there were a number of group activities taking place, so I decided to join a fitness program with hopes of striking up a conversation with someone, anyone. An athletic goddess in her early twenties began her workout beside me, she caught me staring and gave me a polite grin. Forcing myself to approach her, led to an embarrassing and humiliating public rejection, “Sorry, you’re not my type”, I heard snickers behind me as I recoiled like a frightened turtle, “It creeps people out when you stare at them too” I couldn’t get out of there quick enough and went out of my way to avoid her for the rest of my stay.
The next day really wasn’t any better. It dawned on me, I had no idea how to talk to girls my own age. Perhaps I was too clumsy, or maybe they thought I was too dorky, or maybe they thought it was odd that I was there all alone, like some kind of weirdo with no friends. It just continued on this way for the first couple of days and I conceded that I would probably not be getting laid anytime soon. Giving up, I decided to just spend my time lounging about near the pool. On the other side of the resort, things were a little bit more tame and the demographic was slightly older.
It was there that I met a group of middle aged women, struggling to check in. I approached and offered to help, even assisting in carrying some of their luggage. They were really quite appreciative and asked me to show them around. There was Sabine, Angela, Ursula and Lucy. All of these women were north of 40 and were actually here to celebrate the finalization of Sabine’s divorce. It was very much a celebration and liberation of middle aged freedom. Everyone was keen and eager for a good time, and all went out of their way to make me feel special, with random comments and complements regarding my physique and ‘youthful’ innocence and ‘boyish good looks’. I was putty in their hands and they seemed to enjoy the effect their praise had on me: it turned me into a stuttering blubbering moron with flushed red cheeks.
For these women, they highlighted to me that life truly bakırköy escort began at 40. All of them were in tremendous shape, each of them having met through a yoga group almost ten years prior. In between husbands, children and divorces, they were all out, free and ready for a good time. Sabine was a tall brunette with piercing blue eyes. Angela was a pale and very thin red head. Ursula was a curvy, yet toned blonde. Lucy was perhaps one of the most beautiful women I had ever laid my eyes on. I was smitten from the very beginning. Here was a woman, old enough to be my mother giving me compliments on my physique. It was clear to me and everyone else, she was flirting with me. However, I was rather quite intimidated and it was obvious that she found it hysterical… as did everyone else. She towered over me at six feet. She had long brown hair, green eyes, thick lips and a toned body to die for. In short, she was a goddess and I was perplexed to even be in her presence.
Once I concluded the tour, they of course disappeared and went off to officially check in. I took the time to retreat to the bathroom in order to relieve myself. With my swimming trunks around my ankles in a public toilet, I ferociously pumped my meager four inch erection, erupting violently into a wad of folded up toilet paper, fantasizing about fucking the living shit out of Lucy. In my fantasy, I was an experienced lover with a massive eight inch cock, making her reach the very heights of ecstasy, leaving her heaving and drenched in sweat as she gazed up at me with lustful adoration. After I’d cum my goo into the toilet paper in my hand, I felt pathetic and foolish. Embarrassed, I flushed my waste down the toilet and retreated outside, deciding to rest by the pool to recuperate.
I didn’t really think I’d see either of them again.
To my utter surprise, twenty minutes later, they emerged from the hotel and as soon as they’d recognized me on my deckchair, they all came and sat next to me.
Lucy was wearing a tiny yellow bikini which left very little to the imagination. She actually caught me staring, to which she shot a playful smirk at me. Red faced and mortified, I recoiled, looking away… which of course resulted in a gigglefest amongst these ladies. I overheard muffled chatter and hushed whispering until, eventually Angela looked me dead in the eyes and loudly declared, “You’re a sweetie”. Everyone laughed, everyone except me. I just sat there with a goofy grin.
It wasn’t all angst and awkwardness. Actually, after the laughter died down, idle chit chat took over. I’d learned more about Sabine’s divorce and her mammoth settlement. No wonder they were celebrating, they clearly had a lot to celebrate. Angela asked me about my studies. Ursula talked about her career within the department of roads and how there will always be a demand for qualified engineers. Lucy asked me if I had anyone special back home…. All in all, it was just idle chit chat, small talk. But, as moments went on, I found myself becoming more and more comfortable around them.
Before too long, they all decided to take a dip in the pool. To my surprise, they invited me to join them. Nearby, there were two couples playing water polo and ultimately, we were all offered to join them. It was actually quite a lot of fun and took up most of the day. I found all these ladies to be a riot and a great deal of fun. Lucy in particular was rather lively, straightforward and even a little raunchy… or perhaps that was just my wild imagination going into overdrive. Nerves disappeared as the day went on and I found myself lowering my guard and becoming more and more comfortable. It was great to have found a ‘group’ and I no longer felt like an odd loner.
The following day, I was invited to join them and as a group, we spent the whole day part-taking in various activities the resort had to offer. Needless to say, it was amazing to spend the day with a group of middle aged goddesses dressed in nothing but skimpy bikini’s. These beauties gave a lot of the younger brats a run for their money. It was great being seen with these goddesses and I’m sure many men looking on, would have been envious of my situation. Lunch was followed by drinks, which led to dancing, which led to more drinks. One by one, they all squared off declaring that it was time to call it a night. Angela was the first to disappear, then Sabine and then Ursula, who became violently ill, having over done it with the espresso martini’s. Lucy helped Ursula upstairs and left me alone, by the pool. I assumed that was that. Another day of fun. I made myself comfortable and stretched out on a deckchair by the pool as I closed my eyes and fantasied about being the meat filling in their orgy. A silly fantasy but one that drove me crazy.
A half hour had passed and Lucy came down alone, taking a seat next to me.
I had to adjust to hide my excitement, awkwardly crossing my legs in an attempt to hide my torpedo from her. Thankfully, she didn’t notice. We talked bahçelievler escort for a bit and after a while, we decided to jump into the pool in order to cool off. It was an unusually hot night. As the cool water caressed our bodies, we stayed close together and ultimately ended up goofing around, playing silly games like Marco polo and some light wrestling.
As all this unfolded, it all led to sensual flirting without me even really being aware. She was forward, forcefully so. I really think that because of the weather and the drinks, we both sort of felt the effect of the heat which gave us the impulse to start some light petting under the water. Then, she completely took me by surprise when she leaned in and sensuously French kissed me, sticking her tongue half way down my throat. To say I was surprised would be a gross understatement. I was taken aback, in shock and obviously overwhelmingly excited. She was just so damn forward and aggressive. I knew then and there, I that I was going to get lucky.
To cut a long story short, we ended up in her room, both of us still dripping wet from the pool. We made out like a couple of teenagers as I fondled and groped her until she led me to the bedroom. She sat on the edge of her bed and, rather sensuously, removed her bikini top, revealing a nice set of juicy tits. Her eyes were hungry, devouring me. All at once, nerves took over as I just stood there before her, like a dummy, not knowing what the hell to do next.
“Make love to me” she said.
Like a deer in headlights, I stood there, terrified. She smirked at me before motioning me to come forward with her index finger.
At that point, I was trembling, but also terribly excited. She took over. Quickly, reaching forth and yanking down my swim trunks, revealing my modest little erection.
It was darting up, throbbing. Her eyes cast downward as she stared at my tackle. I immediately knew something was wrong when she scrunched up her face and said, “Oh….” As if she’d made some kind of discovery about me. I too, looked down as we both stared at my rock hard member.
This quickly turned to sympathy. Slowly she gazed up at me with an almost sad yet sympathetic expression, “Oh sweetie…..” she said softly before glancing back down at my rigidity.
“You’re…” she begun, “very sweet”…. her voice trailed off, “a very polite little penis” she added before giving it a gentle, yet delicate little pat.
She wasn’t making fun of me, but seemed genuinely disappointed and concerned at the same time. Looking into her eyes, I saw a sweet, yet sorry face which made me want to bury myself under a rug and hide. I was so ashamed, so embarrassed. Not knowing what to do, or how to react, all too suddenly, I blurted out, “I’m sorry”.
“Oh don’t be silly….” She began gently prodding my rigidity, “no need to be sorry sweetie” she said in a soft voice, almost as if she was indeed sorry for me. But to me, it felt like she didn’t consider me to be a grown man anymore. I was just a boy. At that moment, I felt like a child. I had never in all my life, ever felt so weak before a woman, “You’re so precious, so delicate and adorable” she said whilst staring hard at my little erection.
Expecting to be dismissed, I was surprised when she reached forth and started playing with the tip of my penis with her index finger. She gently rubbed it, before running her finger along my short shaft. She was playing with it, almost like it was some sort of oddity. “Hmm” she said, with a disappointing tone before tapping it’s head, causing my member to bob up and down. “Oh, the teeny penny is all excited, isn’t he!?” she said with a tone of mockery.
I turned three shades of red as she grinned from ear to ear, genuinely amused by my reaction.
“Oh my god” she said to herself, trying to hide an obvious snicker, “so delicate and precious….” she said aloud with a wide eyed grin, on the verge of laughter. It was very embarrassing, standing there, naked before this goddess, being judged. I felt so submissive, almost like a child being scalded by his mom. By now, pre cum was leaking from the tip of my dick as she kept brushing her fingers along my little head. I shuddered, which caused her to giggle, openly at my face, “aww honey” she mock pouted at me, sticking out her lower lip, “teeny peeny is all pent up, isn’t he?” she said in almost a baby voice.
Before I could respond, she leaned in and blew some air on the tip, “It is cute though… aww, you’re such a little sweetie… a sweet little boy with a sweet little pee pee” she chuckled, with a wide eyed grin. She then ran her index finger on the very tip of my member, gently rubbing, “awww…. look at that! Wittle winky is leaking!” she looked up at me with a grin, flashing her perfect smile at me, “awww….you’re such a naughty little boy!”
That’s all it took to send me over the edge.
I came all at once, emitting a whimper and an “uhhhh”. I looked down and saw that I wasn’t spurting şirinevler escort like when I usually jerked off, but rather it was just dribbling out of me, long strings of cum.
Lucy of course, found this rather amusing, snickering with a wide grin as she quickly reached for her bikini top, wrapping it around my dick in an attempt to catch my cum from falling onto the floor. I was heavily panting, completely loosing my bearings as she said, “that’s it, good little boy. Let it all out” with a very strong tone of mockery and condescension as she practically milked my small boner with her bikini top, catching all the waste, “there you go…. Oh sweetie….” her voice trailed off again.
As I came back to my senses, she directed me over to the bed, where I collapsed flat on my back. I stared up at the ceiling, beyond humiliated as she continued wiping away all the cum from my shriveling dick like she was affectionately cleaning a little boy. That was a low point and, I realized then and there, that I was not a man, at least not in her eyes. “Feel better now that you made cummies?” she said, in that tone as she flashed her pearly whites at me again.
All I could do was nod, I was simply too embarrassed to speak. I felt really disturbed by this experience. Cumming in her hand like that felt nice, but as soon as I came to my senses, I felt pathetic. In my mind, I’d imagined taking her doggystyle, watching her eyes roll into the back of her head as I pleased her beyond recognition. But I realized, I wasn’t ever going to be able to do that for her. It was obvious my tiny pickle wasn’t enough for a woman like Lucy. I lay there, feeling useless, silly, pathetic and lost.
“Maybe you should have a shower before you leave” she said. Again, I nodded as I forced myself up off the bed. By the hand, she led me into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. I heard her giggle on the other side of the door.
I was quick to wash myself, in and out in a matter of seconds. I wrapped a towel around my waist to hide my modesty and emerged back into the bedroom, only to find her dressed in a bathrobe. There were really no need for words as it was plain obvious to both of us that I was a sexual failure. ‘Make love to me’ clearly wasn’t going to happen. Despite this, she didn’t outwardly reject me or say anything hurtful or mean. Instead, she asked, “Did you like that?” to which I responded, “Oh my, yes very much. Thank you. That was just… incredible, you’re amazing” God, I sounded, so pathetic. However, it was quite clear to her that I was more than grateful for having me touch me on my privates, which made me feel even more pathetic.
Looking into her eyes, I felt weaker by the second, but still overwhelmingly attracted to her. Despite my shortcomings, she was not trying to embarrass me, in fact, she appeared to be rather caring and still quite playful. Right when I thought, something further was about to happen between us, she motioned to the door with a dismissive grin, “well?” she said, in attempt to get me to leave.
“Oh, uhhh…. I’m sorry” I instinctively turned my back to her, dropping the towel and pulling my swimming trunks back up. I could’ve sworn I heard a snicker behind me as I did this.
Turning to face her, I foolishly asked, “Maybe we can try this again tomorrow?”
Her response made me feel two feet tall. A condescending smirk and an arch of her eyebrows was enough to let me know that I would never again have the privilege with her, “I’m sorry sweetie” she said, “I just don’t think we’re compatible”
“Oh” I said, hanging my head in shame, suddenly being hit with a range of powerful emotions. The sting of rejection was overwhelming.
She sensed this and came in close, almost like an aunt or mother consoling an upset child, “It’s okay, don’t feel bad. It’s fine sweetie…. But, by my standards, you’re inadequate”
“Urm, I… I am?” I asked, fighting back tears.
“I prefer bigger, I mean, more masculine men” she admitted, almost ashamed.
I gasped, staring at her with my mouth agape in sheer disbelief, “I’m not masculine?” I foolishly asked with my meek little voice, battered and defeated, shuddering in angst and embarrassment.
“Oh sweetie….” She begun, cocking her head with a sympathetic grin, “Some women just prefer bigger men. It’s not the end of the world. Everyone is different. I just really prefer the look of a well-endowed man.” Sensing my heart sinking, she quickly backpeddaled in an attempt to prevent me from full out balling my eyes in front of her, “Not to worry though, everyone is different. Some girls don’t really care all too much about sex. You have much more to offer than that. You’re very sweet and you’re very cute. You know that right? You’re so sweet and so easy to talk to. So easy to get along with. You’re almost like a girl. In fact, you’d make the perfect girlfriend.”
“Uh-huh” I responded, on the verge of tears, “but… I want to be a man, you know? I wish I was bigger down there…. For you…”
“Now, now… enough of that… Don’t be ashamed of your dainty little bits. You’ll find someone who appreciates you for you, but, I’m sorry… It’s not me.” I looked up at her, only to notice genuine sympathy, “It’s not your fault you don’t have the right tool to do a man’s job”
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